costa pinto rui

Yes, Iapos;m literaly tugging on my hair as Iapos;m doing my intermediate fiction writing homework i.e. Reading peopleapos;s stories they handed in and writing a critique for each of them...I really think some people in this class arenapos;t meant to be ehre because they. Can. Not. Write. For. Shit
So the first paper I read is about some guy who has come back from a war he was in and goes back home to his NYC apartment in the ghetto area, but is still paranoid about being shot at or whatever. He switches mid story from 1st person to third which makes me go o.0 and starts adding characterapos;s names everywhere. I say only names because he gives no detail as to who these friggin people are anywhere at all. And he seems to have a vendetta against some guy name Jason who he plans to go shoot somewhere in the vacinity and heapos;s taking pills but we dont know why. WTF??
The second story I burst out laughing at the end because it was the most cliche horror story Iapos;ve ever read. The narratorapos;s old neighbor gets murdered by a man called The Butcher, who ends up in this girlapos;s house one night and tries to kill her himself, of course. The one survivor of this guy is some woman named Mayra who keeps calling the Butcher "they". Thereapos;s more than one? The parents then leave this 16-year-old home alone because of some "emergency construction worker meeting in Florida" Yes, because every parent would leave their kid home alone, on a dark and stormy night no less, while a killer is on the loose. Heapos;s waiting in his room for her and was a bit of a perv I must add, and he sees her (the serial killer) and says "Iapos;m gonna cut you from the inside out." I lost it. RIght there was where I lost any hope for this story. Thereapos;s almsot no dialogue, its all summary, and sheapos;s lying on her back, reaching for a fire extinguisher IN�HER�ROOM and the guy doesnt see her do this She hits him and he starts CRYING *smacks head against the desk* Then at one point heapos;s watching her and goes "Who so sad?" You got that out of friggin The Dark Knight, donapos;t lie, and change it to something else you copycat...lol sorry.
These stories were awful Theyapos;re making me not want to write anymore. At least I can safely say I think mine is pretty good. I will post it in Twilight_Words soon...yeah, forgot thereapos;s no L� in Worlds for that journal, sorry guys. But OMFG I wanna jsut shake these pepole and tell them to get out of the class- they cannot write. At least I know when to add detail and dialogue AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH
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